Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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