i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
