brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
