nut hugger
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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