Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
And the cops told us we were all naked.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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