took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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