I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize