and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
