hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
