last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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