It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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