Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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