u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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