I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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