I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I forget how to act sober
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