I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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