what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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