I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
