well you can't waste a boner
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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