You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
