So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
