it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Randomize
