Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
