We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
