You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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