I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
