Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
