I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
