Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize