I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
