OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
