he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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