I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My balls are so social today.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
