whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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