You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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