youre lurking in front of me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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