I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
