After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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