He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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