Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
