dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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