Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
