Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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