nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
