i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
