every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just found puke in my bra..
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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