We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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