It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
