I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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