i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
