Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
