hell yes lets make some ravioli
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
