Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
