im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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