He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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