I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
