I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
