That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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