There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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