haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
