so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
