hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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