never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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